72
MOUNTAINLIFE
WINTER /SPRING2016
that cameon so suddenly that Ihad toavert apoo-
mergencybydroppingmypantaloonson the sideof
thehighway. Inotherwords, “Life” intervened.
Despite the heavypresence of earlywarning signs,
wemade the call to carryonwith the trip. Shortly
thereafter, amidst a chorus ofman-hugs, fist
pumps andhigh-fives, we united at the heli-port
inGolden, BC.When embarkingonmulti-day
backcountry skimissions inone’smid-thirties, there
are certain essential rules onemust follow inorder
tomaximize the chances of success.The following
is a simple guide designed to sustain the seasoned
ski-adventurist through the transition into the “Old-
BallsYears”:
Rule1. Embrace theBird
One of the best parts of growingupmeans you
are (hopefully) nowold enough to afford the
temporaryuse of a helicopter to access basecamp.
The days ofmulti-day, sloggy, sufferfest ski-traverses
are best usedup in your twenties.Not onlydoes
the heli-drop aid in saving your aging, weary legs
for the terrain thatmatters, it also allows you
tobringplentiful amounts of food, and
—
most
importantly
—
beer.Withour chopper packed like
anoverstuffedburrito, wewerewhiskedupwards,
our collective stoke further fuelledby the seemingly
endless sets of dramatically cut ridges, jaw-dropping
spires andbehemoth glaciers unfurlingbelow. And
not a dropof sweat released.
Rule2.BedsRule
Ditch the tent, forget the snowcave.Ourbackcountry
home for this tripwas the suggestivelynamed
WildcatCabin, a fully-stocked alpine abode equipped
with abountyof amenities, including a full kitchen,
wood-stove, barbecue, andduvet-coveredbeds.
In addition tooffering superior protection from the
elements, the cabinprovides luxurious amounts of
space that canbe utilized for dryingout gear, aiding
in the craftingof gourmetmeals, and allowing five
gentlemen to stroll about in their long-johnswhile
engaging in awkward, stretching-type activities.
As an addedbonus, you also avoid the regrettable
and accidental earlymorning “THOSEAREN’T
PILLOWS!” type of situations that inevitably come
with sharing tentswith your bros.
Rule3.YouAreWhat YouEat
Our firstmorning, we set out at the crackof 9:30
a.m. towards the awe-inspiring amphitheatre of
north-facingpeaks.Thoughour day’s initially lofty
objectivewas eventually thwartedby an incoming
layer of impenetrable cloudy scuzz, our adrenaline
appetiteswere satiatedby the healthymixture of
steep exposure and spotty visibilityprovidedby
a couple of spicy couloirs thatwewere able to
navigate intoon thewayhome.
Anyday in the alpine deserves some
haute cuisine.
Upon returning to the cozy confines of theWildcat
cabin, we spent the eveningdelving intoour vastly
over-stocked treasure trove of edibles, consuming a
luxuriousbuffet of smoked salmonand fine cheeses,
followedby a feast of homemade burgers and yam
fries.The old-balls ski adventurist requires ample
nourishment tokeep the ol’motor running, and
besides, we didn’t book a helicopter and a cabin to
haul inClif Bars anddehydrateddinners.
Stevie“LeBronze”Brawn lays down some dreamy glacial blue turns as part of his latest calendar shoot. Sponsorswelcome.
