MOUNTAIN LIFE - Blue Mountains | Summer 2019

Let me clear this up before I begin. I am unapologetically in favour of e-bikes. I believe in the future of e-bikes for transit and leisure. Don’t expect balance here. You will not get it. I’ll see you in the comments. My mother-in-law is not a serious cyclist. Over the course of her life, she had never ridden more than 20km in a single ride until one windswept autumn day in 2016. That day, she and I took a pair of pedal-assist e-mountain bikes and went on a 40km road ride with over 500 metres of climbing. According to Strava, we averaged almost 30 km/h on that ride. About the same as I average with the B group with Collingwood Cycling Club. Thanks to e-bikes it is possible to have a good time hanging out with one’s mother-in-law. However, it wasn’t long before my mother-in- law and I were forced to make lemonade from the free lemons that life had given us. We had taken a KOM [ “King of the Mountain”: Strava shorthand for the fastest athlete—Ed. ] on a climb that day. Since this was long before Strava had a separate category for e-bike rides, I had saved our outing as a regular ride. Looking at the results after the ride had uploaded, I made a mental note to go back to Strava on a browser to flag the offending segment as not acceptable to the great time-keeper in the cloud. Later that day, I signed into Strava on my computer to clear things up. When I pulled up the result, the ride had earned some kudos and a comment. One word: “Cheater”. As cheaters, we had left much to be desired. First, the ride title: “E-bike ride with M-I-L”. Second, since the bikes we were riding were governed at 45km/h, we had demolished the KOM so comprehensively that we were clearly in something motorized. A car perhaps. (Pro tip: Planning to steal Strava segments in this manner? Two things: 1. Keep it close; you don’t want to make it too obvious. 2. Ask yourself probing questions about every decision you’ve ever made in your life; you may discover how it all went so wrong. ) This episode taught me everything I need to know about e-bikes. And everything you need to know about the debate surrounding them. The lesson: E-bikes are hilarious. A fat rider pedalling a fat bike, blowing past herds of waifs groaning up Scenic Caves Road on seven kilograms of carbon fibre? Hilarious. Blasting through the flats on Kolapore Uplands singletrack at 30km/h-plus? Hilarious. Going straight up Georgian Peaks and riding around the ATVs of the grounds crew when they try to stop you? Hilarious. "When I pulled up the result, the ride had earned some kudos and a comment. One word: “Cheater”. Are e-bikes a trail builder's best friend? Derek Bell will let you know. STERLING LORENCE 75