MOUNTAIN LIFE - Blue Mountains | Spring 2018

SPRING 2018 ML BLUE 77 It happened in yoga, but how could I extend this feeling? I began to think about some of my epic hikes around the world—hikes that were often days or weeks long, and often solo. With no agenda, other than to reach a hostel. Recently, in southern Peru, my friend and I hiked out of the Colca Canyon—twice as deep as the Grand Canyon, it’s mountain hiking, in reverse: you first walk down into green oasis of palm trees and blue pools, then climb out. Once I pulled ahead of my friend, my thoughts surrendered to my movement: a heavy exhale after lifting my leg, a solid thud stepping onto the rock—step, step, breath—repeat. With my body on autopilot, and no deadline to finish, my mind was free. I couldn’t tell you what I thought, there were no epiphanies, but I do recall feeling mentally lighter when I finished. As someone who is now on the other side of middle age, with a recent loss in my life, things have changed: I am ready to be in the moment—or at least try to be. So I booked a four-week hiking trip in Bhutan: four weeks of hiking to meditate and give my grief the time and consideration it deserves. By the time I start the hike, it will be almost a year since my mother died. I want my time on the Bhutanese trail to replay moments of my mother, to feel her long nails on my cheek on the hospital bed, telling me, it’s okay honey . I want to let myself cry in a way that I can’t when I’m busy in life. For me, hiking is an extended meditation—a prolonged time for drifting thoughts and feelings. It’s a time to slow down. It reminds me of something mom said before she died. “ You impatient? Oh God, I just fell off my chair with laughter. The discovery of Melanie by Melanie. It would make for good reading.” This was the last email I ever received from my mother. The following month she was diagnosed with lung cancer—the next, she was gone. Slow down, Melanie. Since she has died, I have taken on more work than ever; organized more trips, written more stories; I’ve even begun overtraining to the point of fatigue. I can’t stop. Slow down. Am I filling my head to the point of bursting so I don’t have to think about her death? Likely. The last part of mom’s email was prescient: “The mature version is looking good; keep working on it—you have a short way to go yet.” She knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe now I will sit still, listen, and for a brief time, we can talk about it on a trail in Bhutan. For me, hiking is an extended meditation —a prolonged time for drifting thoughts and feelings. And that's just our renovation! (519) 599-3311 12 Bruce St S, Thornbury thornburybakerycafe.com Gratifying. savory. heavenly. delightful. pleasant. tempting. scrumptious. tasty. enjoyaBLe. delectable. mouth watering. sweet. love. grand opening May 2/4 weekend