MOUNTAIN LIFE - Coast Mountains | Winter Spring 2019

46 MLCM WINTER/SPRING 2019 for the wandering, story-fabricating mind to stay focused and present, even in a situation this conducive. Though I’ve chosen to come specifically for this reason, I seem to be everywhere but here. Each day, a gong wakes us at 4 a.m. and by 4:30 the first two-hour meditation begins, followed by oatmeal and stewed prunes. The day then alternates between longer sitting practices and mandatory hour-long “fierce determination” sessions in the main hall, where even minor adjustments to body position are discouraged. We have breaks for food, walks outside, and cat-naps, and the day ends with a discourse and lights out by 9:30 p.m. The main teaching is administered by video and audio recordings of the ghostly S.N. Goenka, who lays out the next day’s simple, systematic guidelines, his ever-present smile and humour charming disheartened, often cynical newcomers. Goenka reminds us that this practice isn’t religious (the lineage is Buddhist, but blind faith of any kind is discouraged) or about him, though he helped spread Vipassana worldwide—189 centres and counting. Although he positions himself as the anti-guru guru, some students still bow at the end of his talks as a sign of respect, rattling my red-flag detector. If it seems odd to receive mindfulness instruction from a screen, it also reminds that we sometimes must make modern adjustments for an ancient practice—notwithstanding the shakiness of 1990-era videos. On this day we observe breath and mood. The words calm and equanimity are reinforced. Someone weeps behind me and is helped from the room; she will leave the retreat this afternoon. Dropouts are inevitable. Another woman, a returning student who is pregnant, disappears on day six. (This is already way harder than it sounded, so I understand why applicants are screened to ensure they’re of sound mind and body before being admitted.) While it feels good to give the mind a job to focus on, it’s confounding how fragmented my attention remains. I lose myself in memories of the past and try to return to my breath and body; this is a habit that requires practice, a skill that needs developing. How to use attention conscientiously? The law of nature is impermanence, everything arising and passing. Our breath, this moment, our lives… my discomfort. Sitting for this many hours feels tortuous, boring and for much of the 10 days I am irrationally bothered by everything. And then I understand that this is the lesson: these inconveniences are small, it is my mind that is dramatizing and creating most of my discomfort and that is what this practice is for. It’s early November, and the retreat is wrapping up. Outside, paths meander between a rocky field and the forest. On my daily walk, I notice the curled remnants of fireweed glowing gold and white in bright autumn light. The sound of a chattering squirrel is filled with character and wet moss on the side of a tree is resplendent. No drugs required, life is a trip and the only way we can really experience it is by paying attention—even if we have to fight for it. Meditation isn’t easy but it does create more space between stimulus and reaction, and that gap is vital—the space where we can choose change. By day eight I was ready to leave; two days after returning home, I’m planning my next retreat. Meditation isn’t easy but it does create more space between stimulus and reaction, and that gap is vital—the space where we can choose change. Pemberton: Where your roots have room to grow. It’s no secret that I love Pemberton. Born and raised here, I know the valley and the people and I truly enjoy sharing my love of Pemberton with others. Whether you’re buying or selling, put my over 13 years of real estate experience and lifetime of local knowledge to work for you. I am happy to help and just a phone call away. 604 698 5128 or email [email protected] REAL ESTATE PEMBERTON .COM TOLL FREE 1.877 242 2448 EXT .333 AUTHENTIC APPROACH + UNBEATABLE LOCAL KNOWLEDGE + AWARDWINNING SERVICE = UNPARALLELEDRESULTS SINCE 2009