MOUNTAIN LIFE - Coast Mountains | Winter Spring 2019

WINTER/SPRING 2019 MLCM 35 THE INCIDENT The malfunction happened as it always seems to—at the worst possible spot, virtually the exact midpoint of the Spearhead Traverse, a 40-kilometre (25-mile) horseshoe-shaped route between Blackcomb and Whistler mountains. I was alpine touring (AT), and my ski partner was Mike Kubik, an unrepentant telemarker. He stopped, removed his ski, and began fiddling with his binding. I’ve seen this scenario play out more times than I care to remember. I sighed, took off my backpack, and sat down. There was nothing to do but wait. Might as well have some trail mix. After several minutes of increasingly-frenzied fiddling (accompanied by a steady stream of grunting and occasional obscenities), Kubik threw his ski aside in frustration. “It’s done,” he said. “Uh huh,” I replied. “F@#king telemark bindings!” he yelled. “Uh huh,” I agreed. “You’d think they could figure out how to make these things work after all these years!” “You’d think.” Eventually, after applying a combination of duct tape, elbow grease and ski straps, we devised a MacGyver fix that allowed us to limp the remaining 12 miles back to civilization. A LESSON NOT LEARNED That was four years ago. Since then, Kubik (who is a cheap bastard, by the way) has gone through three more sets of costly telemark bindings, each of which has failed in similar fashion—resulting in frustration, foul language, and, on occasion, mortal danger. Yet he stubbornly continues to telemark. As does another close friend, Mike Gill, who has TELE-CURIOUS Confessions of a confused alpine-touring skier words & photography :: Michael Fox CULTURE Mike Gill takes a knee at Mount Patterson. March 2018.