Words :: Colin Field.
If you carry an umbrella, it’s certain not to rain. So maybe the best way to prevent crappy winter weather is if we all make plans now for crappy-weather fun.
On the off chance this winter will be filled with more rain and thaw than snowstorms, we assembled a list of bad-snow, cold-weather activities—and I figure all this forethought should cover us, right? That’s our plan, anyway.
Ride your bike (indoors!)
It’s always bike season at Joyride 150 Indoor Bike Park in Markham, Ontario. Whether you’re an absolute noob or a Red Bull Rampage-winning pro (Brett Reeder has been spotted), there’s something for you to ride here. It may be the most fun you can have on two wheels in the winter (unless you’re a masochistic fat biker). Or if you feel like going a little farther, why not cross the border and hit up Ray’s Indoor Mountain Bike Park in Cleveland, Ohio? Just as good as Joyride, but with almost twice the space for indoor riding terrain. Both places are fun for the whole family. And of course, North Shore Bike Park in Vancouver is B.C.’s largest.
On the wall
Need to burn off energy and scare yourself a bit? Why not hit up a climbing gym? Try Whistler Core Climbing & Fitness Gym or Ground Up Climbing Centre in Squamish. Climbers Corner in Collingwood, Ontario just got some new holds to freshen things up, and if all goes according to plan there will be a new gym in Owen Sound soon (check out The Climbers Crush). Plus there’s always Alt.Rock in Barrie. And Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, Guelph and Kitchener are all hot spots for climbing gyms.
Pray to Ullr
No matter your beliefs, there’s one thing we should all be able to agree upon: Ullr is the Norse god of snow. How do you appease Ullr? Burning stuff is the classic sacrifice. Invite some friends, light a bonfire and chuck whatever you want on there: skis, boots, goggles, long underwear. Of course the environmental impact of burning P-tex isn’t the best, so maybe try paper snowflakes? Other classic sacrificial items are brain cells; drinking enough to kill a small horse is often thought to awaken the snow gods. The logic is questionable.
Movie night!
Got an old copy of Hot Dog… The Movie? The Blizzard of Aahhh’s? The Stomping Grounds? Why not get the crew together and fire up some good, old-fashioned stoke? The libraries rent overhead projectors; how about a garage movie night? Get stoked, get rowdy, then refer to the above suggestion: Pray to Ullr.
Find the snow
Nothing beats a road trip to soothe the dreary winter blues. Whether you fly or drive, there’s somewhere in the world with better snow. Whistler, Fernie, Jay Peak, Sutton, Searchmont, the Chic-Chocs, Hokkaido—there’s always one place that will have deeper, fresher pow than you, so why not get there? The best bet for nailing snow conditions on ski trips is to plan them at the last minute. Choose your destination based on forecasts and snow conditions the night before you leave. It’s the most expensive way to do it, but this is skiing, right? No one ever said skiing was cheap.
Get your game on
Okay, it’s raining in January. Driving sucks, skiing sucks and being outside sucks. It’s time to fire up your kid’s gaming system. With Riders Republic you can skateboard, ski, snowboard and ride bikes. Any good coach will tell you visualization is the key to success. Doing a backside rodeo misty flip 1600 with a Japan grab to rail slide isn’t going to happen in real life unless you can first visualize it. Mastering this game is basically like training; once the snow returns you’ll be ready to huck your meat to flat all over the place.
Carry an umbrella
Heck, it’s worth a try, right? Throw an umbrella in your car this winter. That way there’s a good chance it won’t rain, and that’s one step toward a better snow year. Along this line of logic, tuning your skis or getting your boots fit is an absolute no-no. Got core shots on your bases from skiing the glades way before they were ready? Wait till it dumps to fix them. Your boots have a couple of hot spots that absolutely destroy any pleasure skiing offers? Wait until the snow returns to punch them out.
Ullr notices. We appreciate your sacrifice.
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