Gift Ideas For Climate Deniers? We’ve Got One.

Patagonia recently announced they will be making it easy to give in the name of your favourite environmental group, matching any donation you choose to make. In light of that idea, we thought it would be a good idea to layout a few gift ideas for those who don’t believe in climate change, and what to tell them when you give them the gift to really drive it home.

With Black Friday on the way, now is the chance to get something special for your loved one, or donate to one of the causes that Patagonia will match, because that’s really, really important—but be sure to scroll down to see five ideas to humour yourself.—ML

 From Patagonia:

VENTURA, Calif. — Patagonia is making it easy for you to give to your favorite environmental group in the name of a loved one (including your holdout uncle who refuses to believe in climate science). And, even better, Patagonia will match your donation.

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Environmental nonprofits make up only three percent of philanthropic giving, yet climate change is our biggest existential threat. Communities are being disrupted and even displaced while solutions to the crisis are known and available. So this holiday season, please donate to environmental protectors in the name of your disbelieving uncle—or anyone else of your choice.

Patagonia is matching all donations made through Patagonia Action Works starting Nov. 29 (Black Friday) through Dec. 31, 2019. Donors can choose to send a digital eCard, print a card from home, or pick up a physical card in any Patagonia store in the United States or Europe. No purchase of Patagonia products is required for donations to be eligible for matching.  “Black Friday is often a day when we go out and buy things we don’t really need and give them to people who don’t really want them,” Patagonia CEO Rose Marcario wrote on LinkedIn this week. “This year, consider giving to our home planet in the name of someone you love. Give to the tireless, community-based groups who work to save clean water and air in your neighborhoods, our public land treasures, our wild animals and birds, and our wide oceans.”

Alternative Gifts For Deniers

Oxygen Mask

 

Ahh, fresh air—all you’ll need is a rubber mask, all day, every day.

What to say: Merry Christmas, Jerry. When we’ve polluted our air so much that we can’t breath it, you’ll be way ahead of the game with one of these. Enjoy 🙂

Handheld  Fan

These puppies might just make a comeback.

What to say: Temperatures are rising, and with Europe breaking the heatwave record last summer, these things are gonna be selling out like hotcakes! Get it now while you still can.

Umbrella

These puppies might just make a comeback.

What to say: Warmer temps and more intense storms mean one thing: More rain! Your Gore-Tex just might not get the job done anymore…stay dry the old fashioned way.

Gardening for Dummies

A green thumb might not be enough for the future, but maybe gardening will be enough to change that deniers mind.

What to say: With growing season becoming unpredictable due to erractic weather patterns, a “green thumb” might be more important than ever in the future. You better learn how to garden, Jerry! Merry Christmas!

WebMD Premium Account Subscription

The same people who deny climate change are likely to believe in WebMD. Pander to that.

What to say: Look, you’re probably gonna be having a lot of questions as new health problems are introduced to you and your friend group—here’s some help to figure out why you might be having trouble breathing in the future.

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