BREAKING: Sean Pettit Signs With Burton Snowboards

April 1, 2018—In a shocking move to the ski world, freeski legend Sean Pettit has left K2 and decided to sign with the legendary snowboard brand, Burton Snowboards. While Sean’s exploits on a board have been well documented, nobody could have seen this move coming. After a few years of putting out short snowboards edits, and even his complete season edit (below), it is clear that Sean has plenty of talent to make it in the snowboard world.

We managed to catch up with Jake Burton for a quick phone call late last night just after the contract was signed in Burlington, Vermont. “We are so excited to have Sean on board”, says Burton. “To be able to have a world-class athlete on the Burton brand is always amazing, but to be able to steal him from the ski world? Well, that’s really the cherry on top”.

Glen Plake, on the other hand, was not impressed. “I know Sean had been riding a lot—but to switch over completely? He was supposed to be the prodigy, man.”

Understandably, the ski world is in shock. What does this mean for powder skiing? When the best skier in a generation, and maybe ever decides to leave the sport, what happens next?

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As of 2 PM, April 1st, buy and sell pages are flooded with ski’s as people try to purge their collection after one of their most decorated and iconic symbols has left the sport. While many of the members of the ski industry are aghast that Pettit would betray the sport in such a way, the boarders are welcoming him with open arms. “I am so excited to have another Sean be a part of our world. You can never have enough Seans, no matter how you spell it. He should totally dye his hair red.”, legendary pipe rider Shaun White says.

After a few years of being on the fence, it’s nice to see Sean comfortable in his own skin, on a board and ready to tell the world. Here at Mountain Life, we’re happy for you Sean. T0 read the full press release and hear more from Sean, head over to Burton for the press release.ML

*This is a piece of satire in celebration of April Fools day. Hope you enjoyed it, now go prank your friends.