words & photos: Ben Osborne
“It’s a lot of pressure, man”, Charlie lamented.
“What is?”
“The weekend…you gotta do something cool”.
Every time a weekend comes around, anywhere from a few months before to a few hours before you leave work on Friday, plans are being formulated. A flurry of texts are sent, Facebook events are created, and the stress of doing something rad begins to set in. Everyone wants to do something “sick”, and everyone has a different way of going about it.
First, you’ve got your leeches—they’ll send you a text, feigning interest in your weekend plans just to match them up against theirs, with the possibility of joining you so as not to miss out. Then there’s the planners, who have booked their activity months in advance—maybe you can sneak in on their epic plans if somebody drops out. For many of us, having a good time comes easily. But in the world of social media induced stress and endless comparisons of who is the coolest, being truly rad takes great effort. It takes planning, it takes Instagramming, and sometimes it may even take bailing on your best friend to do something that will make you look cooler on social media.
Here at Mountain Life, we get it—fun doesn’t always come easy, and fun doesn’t have a scientific formula. But, there are a few rules you can follow to guarantee that everyone else knows you had a good time, whether that is true or not. The most important thing to remember: It’s not about if you had a good time—it’s about if people think you had a good time.
1. Wake Up Early
The more hours the better. Also, this will make your Instagram story longer. We recommend a time stamped shot of a coffee pour. Everyone loves coffee, and everyone admires people who wake up early (nobody knows why, sleep is awesome).
2. Go Far.
Ideally just a bit further than the last person you talked to. Worst case scenario? It sucks, but nobody else went there. Oh, the snow was bad in Whistler? It was a bit colder in Kamloops, Sun Peaks was crazy. The tree riding there was sick. And we had a hot tub. See—it works every time. You can use sayings like “You don’t know until you go” to really send the message that the risk you took ended up being really frickin’ cool. Go you.
3. Drink Beer.
This one is important. Anyone can go out ski touring, surfing, or watch the sunset. But, add in a beer? This means you’re not only “active” and enjoy the outdoors, but you also like to have a good time. Put this on Instagram… it’s appropriate. Hell, put it on your Tinder profile. It’s sure to light up with swipe rights.
4. Watch The Sunset
Nobody in the world has ever said they don’t like a good sunset. Even vampires appreciate it, even if they enjoy it with curtains closed. Instagram the sh*t out of this. I’m talking like 3-4 story shots. And make sure you get the top of your drink In the shot.
5. Come Back Late
This does a few things. One, it means you were having a really good time. So good, that you didn’t even care about missing the last ferry, or getting home at 2 AM. The bags under your eyes? Well, those just tell your co-workers how rad you are. Also, you’re skipping the traffic. Easy choice.
There you have it—follow these steps, and we are sure at least someone will think you had a good time. Just rememeber, it’s not about how much fun you actually had—it’s how it looked on social media.—ML
*This article is meant as satire. There is a small chance that you may be able to enjoy yourself in other ways.
